By Adam Van Der Stoep

Read in 6 minutes

Published October 14, 2024

UNTIMELY? THE TRAGEDY (AND HOPE) OF DIVINE REVELATION

I was on a mission. My homework wasn’t going to finish itself and the coffee shop had the perfect nook for cranking out some reading and writing. But my evening plans for study and reflection were upended when a stranger asked if they could drink their late night coffee at my table.

Of course, being caught off guard I said, “Sure, why not.”

He pulled up a chair and, after exchanging a few pleasantries, I grabbed for my headphones. Stuff had to get done and I was ready to plow ahead after the unusual distraction. But just as I was glancing back to my computer screen I noticed the most interesting tattoo on the inside of the man’s forearm. Poking out from under his long sleeved shirt I could see the larger portion of a hollow circle with a 5 point star sealed perfectly inside. 

Being a curious creature, I set my headphones down and asked him about the meaning of his tattoo.

“Hey, I see you have a tattoo on your arm. That looks like it has a story behind it. Would you be open to sharing that with me?”

“This old thing?” He smirked. “Yeah, it’s a pentagram. I’m a Satanist and I worship the devil.”

How about that. 

“Oh wow. I am a Christian and I’ve never met a Satanist before… Would you mind if I asked you some questions about Satanism and what inspired you get get your tattoo?”

More often than not, I’ve found that people who have tattoos are pretty open to sharing why they have them. This guy was no exception. Over the next hour or so this kind and strange stranger with me shared his life’s story. Without going into detail here, this man opened up about what it was like being adopted into a supposedly “Christian” family at a very young age. But instead of experiencing grace and forgiveness and healing, he endured abuse, neglect and hardship.

Now, as a grown adult, his commitment was to the occult. The tattoo on his left forearm symbolized the renunciation of his Christian baptism which happened against his will at a very young age. The ink had replaced the water-mark. His new identity was that of a servant of darkness. For him, God's absence in his most desperate and vulnerable hours, was unforgivable.

“When I needed God the most, he was nowhere to be found...”

I was stunned and at a loss for words. What could I say? What should I say?

I could lament the hypocrisy of Christian people ( because we're just the worst) but how would that advance the conversation?

I could explain the intellectual problem of God's hiddenness, but that might seem like disregarding his grief and pain.

Or I could share my own life's story and for and step into the mystery of God's hiddenness in my own life.

And that's exactly what I did; bracing for impact, readying myself for the conversation to implode.

But when the dust settled and my time of sharing ended I confessed:

"I'm not sure why God shows up at sometimes and not at others. The Christian worldview doesn't answer those questions clearly. The best thing we have is knowing that God is not ultimately indifferent towards evil. That's the judgment Jesus endured on the cross on our behalf."

Silence.

"For me, that's not a good enough answer" he replied. "The only time in my life where I have felt like God was real was because of this one guy (we will call him Greg). Greg lives differently, you know? He says that he prays for me and I believe he does. He makes God seem good and real."

And before I could say a word, another stranger stood hovering at the edge of our high-top coffee table.

I had no idea who he was, I had no idea where he came from, and I had no idea how I would finish my homework if another person joined the conversation.

It was Greg.

He leaned over the table ad reached for a handshake from my devil-worshiping conversation partner and said...

"Hey friend, I've been praying for you."

Questions For Reflection: How do you see the world?

• If God exists, why do you think God remains hidden at certain times and revealed at others?
• What about our world is better explained if God isn't just hidden, but does not exist in the first place?
• Do we lose any explanations about life and the world if God doesn't exist?
• What would you say in response to someone who struggled deeply with the hiddenness of God?