STUCK ON THE PRARIE: A GRAVESIDE MEMORY

About 30 of us stood in perfect silence. The graveside service had ended. No one knew what to do. No one knew what to say. Each of us stood in shock and filled with sorrow. 

A few hours earlier we had gathered as a community for the funeral of Amanda Connors, a high school friend of mine who was murdered in Sioux Falls, South Dakota on September 11, 2012. Amanda was 24 years old. 

Amanda was two grades ahead of me in school and a classmate with my brother, Aaron. Anyone who has grown up in a small town like we did, where only 90 students filled grades 9-12, knows that whether you like it or not, everyone becomes kind of like family over time. Amanda was no exception. She was like family to me and to so many others. 

I remember Amanda as a bright and bubbly, sweet and spicy soul. Quick witted, free-spirited and funny, Amanda seemed to keep everyone on their toes. She brought life and light to those who knew her.

After she graduated high school I would still see Amanda from time to time. She always cared enough to ask how I had been doing and wasn’t afraid to razz or poke fun at me - just like old times. I think she enjoyed making people smile. I think she really loved having others laugh with her through the things of life. 

Amanda was good people. 

She had gone to school for cosmetology and landed a job in Sioux Falls. Her work ethic, out-going personality and easy going spirit paved the way for her future promotion as manager at Cost Cutters. 

One day, while she was sitting in her car outside the salon, getting ready to run a quick errand, Amanda noticed that an estranged boyfriend to one of her co-workers was pulling into the parking lot. She knew that his arrival meant bad news. 

Being quick on her feet, Amanda called into the store and was able to warn her co-workers that trouble was heading their way.

Moments later the man stepped out of his vehicle, brining with him a couple of young children and a gun. Police reports say that, before his arrival at Cost Cutters, he had gone to a daycare provider, held the babysitters at gun point, tied them up and drove off with the children he had conceived with Amanda's co-worker.

And for whatever reason, the man drove with his kids to the salon.

His girlfriend confronted him at the door.

The situation escalated.

Amanda saw what was happening and chose to pull her car through the parking lot to call out the gunman.

Words were exchanged.

Amanda stood her ground.

And when she decided to go for help, he turned the gun on her... and then later, after he had released the hostages he would eventually take inside the salon, he turned the gun on himself.

- - - - -

To this day, every time I think about her short and beautiful life, I think of the good Amanda brought to this world…

And then, without my permission, my mind races back to those moments on that prairie cemetery; that solemn place, in the middle of nowhere South Dakota where a group her family and friends laid Amanda to rest. 

I remember the wind whipping against my face. I remember the grass dancing on the hills over the sweeping Dakota horizon. 

But those moments of intense silence are what I remember the most.

And I think I remember them the most because my mind was not silent.

Inside, my mind was not quiet at all. I screamed all kinds of questions in my soul towards the gates of heaven.

If God is real, how could God let this happen?

Why did Amanda have to die? Did her life mean anything?

Where is the justice for Amanda and her family?

Will I see her again… is there life after death?

Obituary: Amanda Louise Connors

Questions For Reflection: How do you see the world?

• Do our lives have meaning? Why do you think (or not think) so?
• Are some actions like murder wrong? Why or why not?
• Where do our morals come from?
• How might a biblical worldview shape our ideas about justice differently than other worldviews?
• Do you think there is life after death? What might be good reasons for believing (or not believing) that there is life after death?